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Trump and Transendence

Been reading a lot of Zen literature lately. And then a lot of political junk. And the two are just so incongruous. They are opposites really — the mundane and the transcendent. But they also pull each other; too much Trump-inspired despair and I need Zen. Too much Zen and I need a jolt of the reality which begs for enlightenment in the first place. *** Just got back from a 3 week road trip from North Carolina to Colorado and back. The tribal nature of our country struck me vividly. We have the Red and Blue, with some subtribes of each. It helped to remind myself that this is what I was seeing. Tribes. Not ideologies or positions or even political parties, but tribes. Like Hutus and Tutsis or Sunni and Shia or Iroquois and Algonquin. That’s what the flags and the signs and the bumper stickers are all about. The separations don’t really mean anything fundamental, but nonetheless they are all encompassing. And as a member of one tribe it’s almost impossible to see the other for whom they
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Subversive Walking

I’ve been taking long walks with my dog, Shasta, every morning. We walk for around 2 hours, on various trails around Durham and Chapel Hill, while I look for edible mushrooms and he looks for —whatever it is he looks for. We go early to avoid the heat and too many other people, so I can keep him off leash which is so much more fun for both of us. I have interesting recurring thoughts on these walks. One is that I could do this all day. It’s just an incredibly light and joyful thing to do — mostly because of the dog. I’m sort of looking at him for guidance on this. He just gets it. You walk, and you follow your nose. And you check out absolutely everything. And what could possibly be more amazing than that? Another thing that keeps coming up is how many wonderful trails, along beautiful streams and creeks, with so many perfect swimming holes, are within 15 minutes of my house in Durham. And I’ve just started to explore! It’s hot during the day but just perfect at 7am, and we ha
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Thoughts on Fear of Writing

A friend who's read the two posts I've written so far asked if I was worried about being public with all of these thoughts -- using my real name and talking honestly about some of the concerns I've had about being so thickly in the middle of the meritocracy with my business. Maybe people would find my blog and be a little hesitant to become a customer of someone who isn't so sure he wants to be doing test prep? Or someone who has political ideas he disagrees with? An important question. As I walked with this friend, I answered, and my answer surprised me. I was surprised by how important it suddenly felt to be public with this writing, with my honest thoughts and feelings, and work through that with myself and with whoever reads this. I was surprised by my realization that the question and my answer implied how much we have to hide in our public personae, how many games we have to play to survive really. Trying to put honest thoughts on paper in a public way brings
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Thoughts on The Meritocracy Trap by Daniel Markovitz

I recently read The Meritocracy Trap by Daniel Markovits. It had a strong affect on me, in part because my life’s work has been so deeply enmeshed in the meritocracy he describes. I went to Stanford, I taught at elite private high schools, and I own an test prep company that caters to the very wealthy. My life is squarely in the meritocracy. But I am not exactly elite in the sense he uses the term. I don’t make millions a year and work 80 hour weeks. I didn’t go to an elite undergrad institution. Our household is probably in the top 5% of earners, but that’s not really the problematic area he addresses, which is the top 1% and even the top .1%, where incomes and assets have far outpaced everyone else — including us. I see the top 1%, I know many of them, and so I know exactly who he is talking about. So much of what he says about them rang so true, and much of it applies to me and my family as well, so it was bound to be a challenging book for me. I won’t get into details — y
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Trump and Fascism

My mother said she feels "stung" when someone compares the current political situation to the Nazis. It's too extreme, she believes. "It's not an apt comparison." This came after, when my father said McEnany (Trump's press secretary) was "good," I asked -- "Good in the way Goebbels was good?" As a child of survivors, she has a right to her strong reaction. Trump is not Hitler. We don't have death camps, or an official racist ideology on the books for all to see. But we do have this regime putting migrant children into cages. And we do have obvious racist dog-whistling -- "Fine people on both sides." And we have tear gas on peaceful protests. And we have an unending stream of obvious lies, and attacks on the press, and glorification of the military. I can go on, but I think it's enough there to say that we have proto-fascism at least, and maybe more. And the Nazis started small, too. So there's so
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My Commitment

Writing is terrifying for me. It’s just me, and you, and words. Words which we invent, define, use as we wish. (Constrained of course, but still.) But writing forms the world, no? And with the world feeling like it is in flames, or close, I’ve decided to confront the fear and write. I’m not sure for whom I write, or even what I will write. But I will write, at least once a week, for a year. That is my commitment.
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